The winter holidays are generally perceived as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for those who are facing grief after the death of a loved one, the holidays may instead be a time filled with pain and sadness.
Even those for whom grief is not as fresh, the holidays may serve as an annual reminder of the loss—not only of that person, but of tradition and celebration. We often hear from people who say that anticipating the holiday can be harder than the actual day itself.
Bereavement professionals working in hospice and palliative care understand how difficult this season can be. They support families coping with loss all year long. Bereavement counselors stress the importance of having a plan and making decisions that feel right to the grieving person as well as giving oneself permission to make new or different choices at the holidays.
Experts in Grief offer some tips:
Be Willing to Change Traditions.
Holidays often center on certain traditions and rituals. For some, continuing these traditions without a loved one may be an important way to continue sharing their memory. For others, it may be more comforting to develop new rituals to help lessen the pain and immediacy of the loss.
Help Reduce Stress.
While the holidays can be filled with meaning, they can also be filled with pressure and stress because of additional tasks such as shopping, baking, and decorating. Grieving people should be encouraged to prioritize what needs to be done, and focus on those projects that may bring them pleasure. Perhaps the gift list can be pared down, cards need not be sent out, or another family member can cook the family dinner this year. It’s also important to build in some self-care time. Simple things like taking a nap or going for a walk can help a grieving person get through the holiday stress.
Remember those Who Have Died.
The holidays can bring opportunities to remember the person who has died in a way that is personally meaningful. Some families choose to participate in holiday events at a local hospice. Others may choose to share special family stories over a meal. Some may find that making a donation to a special charity or volunteering time to help others in need may be a comforting way to honor their loved one.
Hospice and palliative care professionals know of the importance of providing emotional and spiritual support to those who are grieving. Most importantly, they remind us that a person grieving should do what’s most comfortable for them during this time of year.
Hospice of Central PA provides bereavement services at no cost to anyone in the community through The Journey Program. You do not need to have received HCP hospice services to participate. The Journey Program offers a variety of services that include informational mailings, individual and group support, a youth bereavement camp, memorial services, and social groups with others who have had a similar experience. Please call 717-732-1000 for more information about our educational and support programs.
In addition to The Journey Program, HCP’s annual Tree of Light program provides a welcome opportunity to pause and remember loved ones during the busy holiday season. The illuminated trees, located throughout our service area, will brighten the season with special memories of our loved ones. With a donation, your loved one’s name can be included in our keepsake program book. To make a donation, or for more information on events and locations, please visit: https://hospiceofcentralpa.org/events/.